A timeline of what has led up to here.
August-December 2019: Did my first internship as a Communications Intern at SAP in Montreal.
January-April 2020: Did a Marketing Co-Op at Rangle.io in Toronto.
Mid March 2020: COVID changed the entire world.
May 2020: Flew back to Vancouver to finish up more school. I started to self-teach myself UX design, and joined an online design community called Design Buddies as part of their founding Admin member team. At the time, we were at 1,000 members. Today, we have ~40,000 members, and we are nearing 50k soon.
December 2020: Landed my first UX job at a 50-person start-up called Foko Retail, which was based out of Ottawa. I was still in Vancouver, working remotely as Ontario was still under lockdown. Foko got acquired by WorkForce Software in May 2021.
July 1, 2021: I moved back to Toronto. I was juggling full-time work, full-time school completing my last-ever semester of undergrad, and moving cross-country all at the same time.
Why did I move back? This is my main, underlying story.
My thirst of work dates back to high school when I took graphics classes from grades 9-12; many of my assignments had to do with designing fake merchandise around a hobby or interest of ours. I always dreamt of being a graphic designer for the Toronto Maple Leafs Vancouver Canucks one day, or at an agency with a stacked clientele consisting of brand names or of Fortune 500 companies.
During my second year, and especially during my third year of undergrad, I overheard my peers talking about co-op - how many applications they submitted out, the interviews they lined up for the week, and their overall experiences of the program.
My manager at Corus told me during a 1:1 a couple weeks ago that I’m always 20 steps ahead of everything. And she’s right. Everyone that I knew dating back from childhood, has always been in Vancouver. Even after graduation, many remain in Vancouver. I think it’s because a lot of individuals are afraid of jumping out of their comfort zone. So once the task of seeking my first-ever internship came into play, I didn’t want to work in Vancouver.
One, I’ve lived there my entire life and have never explored elsewhere in Canada.
Two, the opportunities I was seeking at the time (communications & marketing, advertising, design, tech, entertainment) were very limited in Vancouver. All of those industries that I’ve named, triumphs in Toronto; it’s a no-brainer we get all the accolades in all the articles. And if not Toronto, then Montreal. Which was where I landed first actually.
After graduating from university last October 2021, it feels like all I would ever do now is work. It’s funny because throughout undergrad, that was what I was going for, and I was always grabbing the bull by its horns. In first year, it was hoping to get accepted as an executive member for school clubs. In third year, it was trying to secure my first-ever internship.
A couple months in working my second UX position and I’ve found how soulless this office job can be. Especially working from home. You know what though, I’d rather work from home for the rest of my life than commute for hours to work, not knowing how reliable the TTC is going to be that day.
Still, human beings aren’t meant to work 8 hours straight from Monday to Friday. And all of the hobbies I originally did in Vancouver, I needed to find means to do them here in Toronto too. But I had no friends to start off with.
Bumble BFF is a social lifesaver. FYI I am not sponsored for Bumble in any way, I just had really good experiences on this app and I’m here to share them all to you. I’ve gone out to brunches and spa dates with other girls on the app I’m now close friends with. I can even find concert friends on Bumble, an expensive hobby of mine I used to do back in Vancouver that I can now do 2 or 3x more in Toronto! But, I have to pay the bills at the end of the day. Good thing I’ve seen all of my favourite artists already 6 years ago so I don’t have FOMO when they come here.
Twitter is also another social lifesaver, believe it or not. Most of the irl friends I’ve made here are also UX designers that I’ve met on Twitter first. It’s nice bonding over shitposting and self-deprecating humour. I have noticed though, since we’re all the same age and are very early on in their careers, our conversations are about work all the time. I’ll admit, I’m guilty of doing this - almost to the point where work is who I am (I can’t believe I even said that). UX and tech overall is cool but I am continuously learning not to make that a main conversation starter all the time.
On an unrelated note, I travelled back to Vancouver last month. I go back at least 3 times a year. This time though, was actually the most refreshing out of all the times I’ve gone back. The main reason was because I got out of a bad roommate situation and I needed to head to a new environment for a bit where I can put my mind at ease. I went to Seattle for the first few days, then spent the rest of my time in Vancouver between working ET hours while I was in PT, and going out to hike every other day. I kept thinking of my current situation back in Toronto every so often though. I’ve even lowkey thought of moving back because of inflation… but in the end, it would only deteriorate my mental health. I wouldn’t think it would be a sign of defeat, but it’s not a place I can go back to anymore.
My long-term goals now have to do with life and my personal well-being. The one goal was to always keep chasing one job after another, but my therapist said constantly moving (moving places, moving jobs) is what has fuelled my anxiety. So I need to stop the habit of thinking about where I want to work at next, because a few months in, I will want to go somewhere else. A couple of folks have also said I am in a good position right now. But my mom’s advice to take it “one day at a time” is quite tough to take in during these times. Knowing myself, needing a serious gut check and for that to be repeated 200 times over and over will eventually click to me. Rinse and repeat every few months.
The end goal? I’m on the road of buying property. I’ve thought of this off-and-on about 2 years ago, but have only taken it seriously since after my horrible roommate situation a few months ago. Renting has solidified the fact that I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life. Yes, owning has its pains as well; as far as I know, I believe it’s the fees & taxes, but I’d rather stress over that than a bad roommate that tolls you mentally and emotionally, and living in fear of getting evicted or getting wrongfully renovicted. Luckily, the latter has never happened to me.
I thought after university that I would be travelling for a bit.
But I’m tired.
Like what my therapist has said about moving constantly giving me anxiety, I’m ready to settle down into somewhere I can be comfortable and start my own roots. And once again, thanks to inflation, rent costs as much as someone’s mortgage (I can pay mortgage ffs, let me get my first house!) Knock on wood I get there in 5 years, which is what I’m aiming for.
If you’d like to follow along my chaotic life, you can find me on Twitter @nadiahle.